When I was cleaning today I found my money that I had lost woo hoo! That a long with the last little bit of money I am getting for selling my car will be enough to start school. Also I lost another two lbs this week is already substantially better then last week. Going to pay bills and relax hopefully go somewhere nice on Friday to celebrate late my anniversary.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Update
When I was cleaning today I found my money that I had lost woo hoo! That a long with the last little bit of money I am getting for selling my car will be enough to start school. Also I lost another two lbs this week is already substantially better then last week. Going to pay bills and relax hopefully go somewhere nice on Friday to celebrate late my anniversary.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Love yourself
One of the major reasons I left my husband was because I didn't like who I had become when I was with him. I was bitter, angry, and mean all the time and I couldn't avoid it. Since I can't start school at the moment since I lost my money and my boyfriend has started a new job money is really tight right now I wanted to focus on other aspects of my life I wanted to improve. I figure if you don't like yourself very much how can you expect others to.
Since the divorce I quite smoking, pre divorce with all the stress I was in the best shape of my life I had lost a total of 70 lbs. Since I quit smoking I gained it all back in a years time :(. I have decided to get back in shape. I have been working out for at least an hour a day and so far I have lost four lbs this week woo hoo! I don't want to look like this anymore.
Also on a side note my very patient boyfriend and I will be celebrating our one year anniversary tomorrow. Hopefully our relationship will evolve like I intend to into something strong and beautiful.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Baggage for one.
Baggage: Things that encumber ones freedom, progress, development, or adaptability; impediments.
Don't really feel like blogging today but I maid a commitment to myself to keep this going at least once a week. Lets recap the week I guess.
The week started out by losing a sizable chunk of the money I was saving for the down payment I was going to make to my certificate program. Then a lecture from the boy friend.
Followed by a phone call from a devastated friend which accounted for me not getting any sleep before a big birthday party.
So I'm at a party where all I want to do is drink to subdue my anger and embarrassment about losing so much money but I'm so tired from not getting any sleep that I have to leave the party early and don't even get to get drunk.
Finally accepted that my money is not coming back. Financial hardships make me irritable and fight with my boyfriend over him not liking his new job.
Argue some more over my incessant need to compare my old relationship with my new relationship when ever money is involved.
Now spending my day off alone and sad while being given the cold shoulder.
So ready for next week..............
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
How to not be cynical with a 40% success rate in marriage
I have been feeling really cynical lately. Everyone around me I see is always fighting all the time. My parents, friends, and siblings try to confide in me with their insecurities in their own relationships and its just so hard to stay optimistic when your bombarded by the media about who is leaving who. So I got the cynical blues and I just don't want to live my life being another cynical sad person. So here's evidence that some form of love can exist till death due them part.
Proof number one: While there is only a 40% success rate in marriage in the u.s. (or so says wiki answers) Hey that is 40% of people living in success, that says hope to me, and proof that someone out there must be happy.
Proof number two: You can love your parents, your kids, and your siblings forever and you don't even get to choose them. So it makes since that someone you chose to marry into your family they would stand a fighting chance.
Proof number three: Shake spear said so, apparently its better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.
Proof number four: Something with such an abstract concept must mean that it exists in a lot of different ways to many people so really I guess love is all around us and we just don't see it.
Now I am not saying that the only romantic eternal love between two people has to be between two married people. I may never get to the point where I am comfortable being married again but I definitely think I could love again. I'm just looking at the basic signs of proof to the outside world that two people can love each other forever and to me that is a successful marriage.
So I guess here's to the opportunity to triumph. To get to experience the good stuff a second time. Here we go self, sounds a little less scary now and a little more fun. Also good luck to you, for thoseyou who have decided to try again.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Interesting stuff
While reading up on other divorce blogs I stumbled across this post on divorce health statistics. It went on to say that younger divorced women tended to struggle more with health issues from what was presumed to be related to the stress of their divorce. It had a couple of examples explaining why they may struggle more relating to helping young children deal with having divorced parents or people like me with no kids feeling the pressure to find a new partner in which to have kids with which I touched on a bit in one of my previous posts entitled tick tock. Anyways I found it a very interesting read and wanted to leave a link to it so if you've got the time check it out.
http://midliferocksblog.com/2012/03/07/divorce-more-deadly-for-young-women/
and now for something completely different
The girl behind the voice.
| me,myself and I in 150 questions! by klesa | |
| name: | Jessica |
| nickname: | Jed |
| birthday: | 4th |
| height: | 5'2 |
| weight: | average |
| hair: | red |
| eyes: | brown |
| any piercings?: | 8 |
| tattoos?: | 2 |
| any siblings?: | 1 |
| what do you like to wear?: | everything |
| *favourite...* | |
| book?: | the metamorphasis |
| color?: | rainbow |
| movie?: | eternal sunshine of the spotless mind |
| celebrity?: | Alyson Hannigan |
| place?: | home |
| food?: | Pizza |
| dessert?: | cheese cake |
| alcoholic drink?: | flirtini |
| non-alcoholic drink?: | root beer |
| day of the week?: | payday |
| number?: | oo |
| month?: | October |
| city?: | Austin |
| country?: | US |
| animal?: | kitty |
| time of the day?: | night |
| smell?: | popcorn jelly beans |
| tv channel?: | adult swim |
| song at the moment?: | no children |
| friend?: | Eilza |
| *worst* | |
| place to be?: | work |
| time of the day?: | 11 |
| day of the week?: | wednesday |
| song/music gender?: | ? |
| animal to you?: | meh |
| drink?: | pepsi |
| food?: | pork |
| *have u ever...* | |
| been so drunk that you cant remember?: | yes |
| cheated: | no |
| been cheated on?: | no |
| been in love?: | yes |
| been on TV?: | no |
| stolen anything?: | yes |
| been on stage?: | no |
| passed out?: | no |
| had a surgery?: | no |
| broke the law intentionally?: | yes |
| had a friend pass away?: | yes |
| been lied?: | yes |
| been dumped?: | yes |
| *do you...* | |
| do drugs?: | no |
| get drunk?: | yes |
| dance?: | no |
| party?: | yes |
| sing?: | no |
| play an instrument?: | no |
| get along with your parents?: | yes |
| think you are attractive?: | sometimes |
| swear?: | like a fucking sailor |
| smoke?: | use to |
| get motion sickness?: | yes |
| wear contacts/glasses?: | glasses |
| get good marks?: | no |
| watch cartoon?: | daily |
| drink milk :3 ?: | daily |
| write poems/stories?: | yes |
| take a particular medicine?: | no |
| go to psycholog?: | no |
| have a pet?: | yes |
| are you allergic to something?: | no |
| play an online rpg?: | no |
| get online on msn a lot?: | no |
| google a lot?: | yes |
| have fights?: | yes |
| read magazines?: | yes |
| read comics?: | yes |
| how many hours do you sleep?: | too many |
| how frequently do you go to hairdresser?: | once a year |
| get along with your teachers?: | ..? |
| *music* | |
| What's your preferred genre of music?: | alternative/folk/ska |
| All-time favorite band/artist?: | mountain goats right now |
| All-time favorite song?: | no children |
| How many CDs or MP3s of your favorite band/artist do you have?: | 2 |
| What's your favorite radio station?: | hmm |
| rock?: | pro |
| blues/jazz?: | pro |
| classical?: | pro |
| rap?: | pro |
| pop?: | pro |
| country?: | nay |
| emo/screamo?: | nay |
| heavy metal?: | pro |
| techno?: | pro |
| reggae?: | pro |
| r&b?: | pro |
| *last...* | |
| time you cried?: | couple days ago |
| movie you watched?: | the avengers |
| person you talked on the phone?: | reliant energy service |
| cigarette?: | april |
| song played?: | my way- the sex pistols |
| thing you ate?: | shredded wheat |
| time you took a bubble bath?: | cant even rememer |
| time you got drunk?: | april |
| time you read a book?: | last week |
| email you get?: | junk |
| person you got a fight?: | cant remember |
| time you hugged someone?: | last night |
| time you kissed someone?: | last night |
| time you met someone new?: | not sure |
| time you went for a date?: | april |
| *do you believe in...* | |
| God?: | no |
| religions?: | no |
| aliens?: | yes |
| ghosts?: | not sure |
| afterlife?: | not sure |
| yourself?: | yes |
| astrology?: | no |
| karma?: | yes |
| magic?: | i dont know |
| *in a girl/boy* | |
| hair: | red hair |
| eyes: | green |
| hobbies: | watching movies |
| style of clothing: | band shirts |
| kiss on first date?: | yes |
| love at first sight?: | no |
| *random* | |
| who do you wanna slap?: | no one |
| who do you wanna kill?: | see above |
| your dream: | financially stable with a home and family |
| do you want to get married?: | not sure |
| love?: | yes |
| i wanna be: | a paraleagal |
| all you need is: | nutella |
| identy yourself with 3 words:: | sleepy, giving, neurotic |
| what is your worst characteristic?: | my legs :( |
| what are your fears?: | why would I tell you that |
| what is your weakness?: | no way |
| favourite quote?: | tesla never created anything worthy of the pigeon |
| cartman or kenny?: | cartman |
| shoes you weared last time?: | converse |
| what is your aim for this year?: | |
| Take this survey | Find surveys Pimp My Profile | |
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Progress
Despite my last relapse into the stages of grief I think I am on the right track again. I will be starting a certificate program next month to be an administrative assistant and finally get out of the fast food industry. I will be done paying for that schooling in about 3 months or so then I will be saving to move to the city to go to college at Everest woo hoo. I have decided to go to school for paralegal studies. I am so excited to further my education. It is so important to me to be financially independent, I felt stuck with my husband for so long because I had no money and no family to lean on and I never want to have to rely on anyone ever again. When I did my do it myself divorce I wasn't really sure what the next step for me was. I spent so much of life supporting someone else's goals and achievements that I never really had time for my own. I was really interested in law going through my divorce and really felt like it was something I could do. We will see if I sink or swim, though I know as a hole I am already a success.

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